Need

Men are what they have had to be

Yes, yes they are. This particular instance was in reference to the staying power of the Jewish people during some of their trials. That's the section of civilization I am currently on. Next is Persia. It is fascinating and also difficult to read about things that I understand one way (the right way) and have them described as someone without religious belief sees them. I pushed through it and have a better appreciation for the truth of the scriptures and the damage that has been done to the bible over the centuries and by that to people's spirits. 

We do become what we have to. When a task or a trial is placed before us we have the opportunity to rise to the challenge or whine about it. Honestly, if we don't rise to face whatever is placed before us and choose to become what the Lord would have us be, not only will we be unhappy, but we will probably suffer longer. Like until we do become what the Lord wants. 

This is of course why people often counsel to never pray for patience, because you'll get it. Not in the way you want to get it, but in some other way that tests and pushes you beyond what you thought you were capable of withstanding. (This is also known as parenthood). The key lies in the attitude and choice. In the end of everything that's what it always comes down to. I think about it and talk about alot because not many people do. My kids have heard all my best lectures (I am a fantastic lecturer) about how it is in fact their choice to be annoyed by their siblings behavior. It can be horribly hard, but every moment we make choices about what we think, what we say, even what we feel. I was starting to feel really depressed the last few days. Since I have a history with that I have a marker by which I gauge the severity of my negative feelings. This was a bad one. That's all I'm gonna say on that, it was just bad. So on top of feel poopy myself, it wasn't hard to see that I was bringing the whole family down. (Yes, they all could have chosen to be unaffected by my sad behavior, but really they are just kids:)) So I decided last night that depressed time was over. I prayed  it out with the Lord, which is the only way I have survived depression, and I am better today. Not whole and complete mind you, but better than I was. I chose to be positive. I chose to be what everyone around me needed me to be. I am what I have to be. (I think I feel another tshirt design comin' on!)

There is a country song that might offend some of the more puritanical people that I know, but the words go something like this:

If you're going through hell, keep on going

Don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it

You might get out before the devil even knows you're there! 

I don't think my trials constitute anything as bad as all that, but there have been times when they did. But it's good advice no matter what, after all everyone goes through bad times, so I'll remember this and save it for that day.

Do what you have to do. Keep moving. Rely on the Lord. Life is going to keep moving whether you want it to or not, so you might as well enjoy the ride.