Who doesn't love Jane Austen?

Wait! Before any male readers run for the hills, I feel impressed to mention that this is not going to be a sappy, gooey, lovey kind of post. Really, Jane Austen was so much more than that.

I have always professed to love Jane Austen books, but until last year I had only read Pride and Prejudice. Then I read Persuasion and now I have finished Mansfield Park. Both are great. And for you guys out there, Mansfield Park has very little "Oh, Mr. Darcy," kind of stuff that we females love, so even you might enjoy it.

Each of Austen's books focuses on a character trait or two that could be considered to be faults or virtues. Pride and Prejudice is obvious, Persuasion also, and clearly Sense and Sensibility. Some of her others were more unobtrusively titled. Mansfield Park fits into that category being as it is titled after the main residence of most of the characters in the book. Of course, now that I think about it, there is deeper meaning to the title, in that Mansfield Park represents a sense of propriety and how that sense is either used or ignored. hmm . . . .

The main focus is really a nature versus nurture debate. Can a person who is born in a lowly, impoverished family rise to become dignified and proper? Is it also possible that one who is born into a family of wealth could become a disgrace to said family? Obviously yes, or there wouldn't be a book. Near the end of the novel the father of the main family begins to question his parenting. Of his four children, his eldest son ran rampant, ending up deathly ill after causing his parents a good deal of emotional and financial hardship. His eldest daughter married a man she did not love and then ran off with another man, hoping he would marry her and ended up divorced from the first and unwelcome in the family home. The second daughter, and youngest of the children, eloped with a man considered to be of less than desirable character and was eventually welcomed back home but not before much duress had been endured on all sides. If I were the father I would start to question myself too. Add to this mix, the second son who stayed true to good principles and lived honorably, and the niece (also the heroine) who followed in the footsteps of the second son. This niece was brought to live with the family when all the children were in the double digit preteen to teen range. She came from lowly circumstances and yet turned out to be one of the most refined of the five children who grew up together.

So the next time we start to question ourselves in our parenting, remind yourself, that it is possible that no matter what we do as parents, some children will simply make wrong choices. Why does one child internalize good principles and another disregard them? Who knows! So is it nature or is it nurture? Personally I think it has to be both. We all come here to this earth with our unique personalities. Add to that the conditions of the formative years be they good or bad, and we turn out to be who we choose to be. We make the choice. What drives us to make a choice for good or bad? I don't know. That could get very deep and philosophical, but that might hurt my head. The point is that we choose. We choose who we will be and others choose who they will be. There is very little that we can do for others beyond being a good example. I can tell and show my children how to act, but I can't force them to do what I want them to, believe me I have tried! I think the lesson that the father in Mansfield Park may have missed was to love unconditionally. Love your children, and others, no matter what choices they make.

The other really good point to remember is that a little suffering goes a long way. Some strife and humble pie can help to produce a person who is truly stellar in character. However, to my dear dad, moving piles of rocks around the yard is not character building, just obnoxious. It did however provide some teaching lesson of obedience. We did not know why the rocks needed to be moved again, but we were told to do it and we did. Obviously obeying our parents, earthly and heavenly has great benefits that we cannot see at the time of obedience. Now if I can just convince my kids of that . . .